Sleepless
by matteney
Summary: "Truth be told, I've had a tough time finding sleep lately." Chandler's musings about impending fatherhood and his little family.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Yes, I have come up with another sappy and pointless Mondler (AU pregnancy) one-shot. There just aren't enough of these on here. This is Chandler's POV. I greatly appreciate any kind of feedback!**

I take in a deep breath and watch the city that is bustling with life, even at night, from a distance. The city that has been my home as long as I can remember. The city where I grew up, learnt that my friends are my family. The city in which I have found the love of my life and the city where our future will be taking place.

I run my hand over the rugged stones that form our balcony. I stand there in silence for another while until the urge to be with her increases and I ultimately make my way back into the purple apartment through the narrow window. As I climb through it I wonder how long it's been since she has been out here.

The _YooHoo_ bottle still in hands, I silently make my way to the kitchen and place the empty beverage in the trash, cleaning up every oh-so-tiny proof that I have been up at night. Then I stifle a yawn and enter our bedroom where Monica is still sound asleep under the covers. I watch as she sleeps so peacefully in our bed, her chest rising up and down with each breath she unknowingly takes.

Truth be told, I've had a tough time finding sleep lately. Naturally, it has something to do with Monica's state. Actually it has _everything _to do with Monica's state. I'm not sure if I just want her to get as much sleep as possible without any interruptions - or if it's the feelings my new and special father-to-be status bring along. I constantly worry about my wife and my unborn baby, and the nights are the worst. I know I have to be awake in case anything happens, otherwise I would not be able to forgive myself.

On top of that, I get to watch my beautiful wife for hours without any interruptions. Well, except for those nights when she wakes up at 3am and tells me about her weird (food and sex) cravings that I obviously try to satisfy. Or when she suddenly needs to pee in the middle of the night because the baby is pushing on her bladder. In these moments I feel pretty bad. After all, I'm the one who put her into that state. And I can't do anything to help her. I'm not even sure if she wants my help; whoever knows Monica is entirely aware that it has always been her dream to carry a child and that she is one hell of a strong and self-reliant person.

Nontheless I can't help feeling that way. I haven't told Monica about these musings and my sleepless nights, though. I just don't want her to worry.

I carefully move from my rooted spot near the bed and plant my behind on my still empty side of our bed. I don't take my eyes off Monica as I quietly cover my body with the sheets, moving my sleep-deprived self closer to her until my arm is able to wrap around her. I only dare to pull her closer as it had become a nightly routine for me and I know that she doesn't wake up during it. I'd hate myself if I was the one to wake her up during her much-needed restful nights.

My face finds the crook of her neck and I plant a soft kiss, light as a feather, on her bare skin, subconsciously snuggling closer to her. Even in the darkness I can see the glow of pregnancy radiating from her skin. She has always been perfect to me, but it seems growing a person makes her even more impeccable. I grin to myself, suddenly very proud of my achievement.

_The Achievement _suddenly makes its presence known under the palm of my hand and I quickly shoot a glance at Monica, hoping she won't wake up. The movements get more intense, Monica still sleeping through all of it. Man, the pregnancy really seems to draw every ounce of energy that is still left out of her. I silently pray that she stays asleep so I can enjoy some alone-time with my still unborn child. Another thing I don't like to admit to Monica, but I am a tiny bit jealous of all the time my wife and my baby get to spend together at the moment. Only a tiny bit. Maybe 98% happy and only 2% jealous.

"Hey there, little kicky," I whisper as quietly as possible to _The Achievement_, my hand cautiously rubbing Monica's bump. She sometimes makes fun of me for talking so much to the baby, but I'm convinced that my son or daughter hears everything and so I'm silently hoping that he or she will already hear my words and get used to my extraordinary sarcasm. And perhaps even pick up some of my wit already. Okay, I realise that is very unlikely. And something that Monica surely would not be too thrilled about.

Apparently _The Achievement _enjoys my touch as the movements are now slowing down, the occasional jab meeting my palm. I can't help but grin each time the baby makes its presence known; it makes both of us calmer knowing the little one is alive and well. Perhaps it is also the knowledge that this might be our only pregnancy that keeps me up at night. I have the need to savour every single moment. The past few months have been passing at the speed of light and sleep has become an unnecessary commodity for me.

I rest my head back on the pillow next to Monica's, my hand still protecting the life that is growing in her womb. Eventually, my eyelids feel heavy as stone and I drift off to a few hours of much-needed sleep.

[-]

I am woken by the sunlight hitting my face and the first thing I notice is that the other side of the bed next to me is empty. I let out a groan and rub my eyes, sitting up and letting out another grunt when I notice the time. Thank God for Saturdays.

My only hope is that our close-knit group of friends has not yet found its way to our usually well-laid breakfast table. I let out a breath of relief when I open the door and find the apartment still deserted. However, it also makes me wonder where my wife – and more importantly, my baby – are. Just as I'm about to go into Chandler-panic-mode, I notice the soft music coming from the bathroom. A little relieved, I make my way over there and knock softly before entering.

And there she is, spread out in the bathtub in her entire glory, the bubbles covering most of her beautiful naked body (to my own disappointment). However, they fail to cover up the bulging bump that is, except for her head, the only thing I can see.

"Morning, honey," I say quietly, not sure if it's because I don't want to distroy the perfect image in front of me, or because I am still very tired. I sit down on the edge of the bathtub and smile at my wife.

She grins back up at me and replies with "good morning, daddy" and I swear I can feel my heart constrict in my chest. We both smile at each other for a second until I notice something else in her gaze.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, not out of habit, but rather because I can sense that something is wrong with Monica. I try my best to remain calm; try to convince myself that I am overreacting again and that I need to _fucking chill_.

She looks somewhat surprised. Oh God, she's probably completely creeped out by my ability to read her face and body by now.

"I feel big," she then confesses and I need to pull myself together as not to admit the amount of relief I am feeling at this very moment.

"Like, I'm only due in five weeks and I already have no idea how and where this baby is going to find more space to grow," she continues, her reply followed by a sharp intake of breath as she arches her back, her belly becoming impossibly larger.

I shoot her a sympathetic smile, as sympathetic as I can manage, given the fact that I'm only the sperm guy.

"I'm pretty sure _The Achievement_ will find a way to squish your organs even more so he or she will find some space in there," I joke.

I watch her roll her eyes. Rolling her eyes has become one of her favourite ways to reply to basically anything I say to her. At least when it's in regard to the pregnancy.

"How many times have I told you to stop calling our baby '_The Achievement'_? I don't appreciate that nickname and I doubt the baby will once it's older and we tell him we named him or her something that impersonal and tacky during the pregnancy."

She now focuses her attention on rearranging the bubbles and I frown, disappointed once more. I only hope my baby will appreciate my cool sense of humour more than my wife does. I decide to drop the topic, once more agreeing with Monica.

"You're right. I'll try to stop."

Monica shoots me another glance that has disbelief written all over her face and I try to make up for it by giving her one of my lopsides grins that I know she can't resist. It seems to be working, at least her mouth curls into a tiny smile. Or maybe I'm just imagining things.

Her wet hand finds the side of my unshaven face and she looks me deep in the eye. "You look pretty worn out. Did you sleep at all last night?"

I try my hardest to put on an upbeat and vivid expression as I sit up straighter.

"What?! No, I'm feeling great! I haven't slept like this in ages," I lie and I think she sees right through me, for she tilts her head and gives me that incredulouslook again.

"I saw the three empty_ YooHoo_ bottles, Chandler. And don't tell me that's because you're sleepwalking. That excuse doesn't work anymore."

My body slumps down and I know that lying to her is a lost cause. And also not something that _Dr Phil _recommends when it comes to marriage.

"I was up again. I just couldn't sleep." I hope that she drops the topic; I'm just too shy to admit the real reason to her, I guess.

"Chandler, please do me one favour. Just tell me what's bothering you at night. We're married and you know you can tell me everything. I might not understand, perhaps it's some guy thing, but just please let me in on what is going on inside of here." And then she taps my chest and I know she demands to know the truth. I take in a deep breath, not even sure why exactly I am so scared to tell her.

"It's because of the baby."

She looks at me and for the first time in ages, I can't read her expression.

Is she mad at me? Confused? In disbelief? About to laugh?

I decide to further explain. "It might sound creepy, but I love watching you sleep. And I just want to make sure that both of you are okay. I want to be there for you around the clock, just in case something happens. And on top of that, I'm nervous as hell. I can't stop thinking about the future and I want to make sure that you two have everything you need. All the time."

Ironically, telling her that didn't feel as hard as I had imagined.

Her expression softens once more and I feel her wet hand cling to my own. All of a sudden I hate the fact that she's in the tub and I'm not.

"Chandler. That's not creepy at all, that is the sweetest thing ever." She pauses and I know that there's more to come.

"But we're doing just fine. You can't control every aspect of our lives. I'll let you know if I don't feel well or have any weird cravings." We both smile at that.

"You have got to sleep. The baby will be here before you know it and we'll have plenty of sleepless nights ahead of us as it is."

I feel my mouth open involuntarily. "I know that, and that's another reason why I stay up at night, Mon. I don't want to miss anything. You are so lucky that the baby is with you all the time, and I know it's stupid but sometimes I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on things."

I am surprised to see tears sting in her eyes and for a second I'm sure it's my fault.

"Honey, I had no idea you felt that way. But nature has intended for women to grow the babies." Before I can let out an incredulous snort, she goes on. "However, you can just let me know if you feel like you need some more alone time with _The Achievement_."

I let out a laugh instead and see her beaming at me now. I'm quite relieved by the way the conversation has developed and also feel somewhat proud that I made her forget about her uncomfortable state, even if it's just for a few seconds.

"Don't ever be afraid to tell me if something is bothering you, Chandler. That's what I'm here for, okay?"

I nod, eternally grateful that God has blessed me with such a wonderful and understanding wife. I can't help but think of the words engraved on our wedding bands.

_My prince(ss), my soulmate, my friend._

She definitely was all of those things. And very soon she would be the most amazing mother to the most amazing little human in the world.

I finally lean in and give her the much-needed kiss.

To a countless amount of sleepless nights.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N This is very pointless, mushy stuff. Thanks to some of your reviews I have decided to add another chapter. I hope it doesn't ruin things for you? Let me know your thoughts!**

It feels like I have barely closed my eyes when the next resolute wail resonates from the crib that is placed next to our bed. Even though we have both got used to the short nights by now, I still can't help but let out an exhausted groan. There's no doubt; our baby has definitely inherited Monica's determination and stamina. Monica and I are now both awake; I motion for her to stay put as I finally lift my heavy body off the bed after what feels like an eternity. I watch as her eyes drift back shut so I get up to tend to the little bundle.

We've only been parents for a few days and yet it feels like we've never done anything else. Monica had been right all along - I just grew into being a father, now it just feels natural. I bend over the crib and lift up my newborn son, who is now miraculously calming down already. I don't know what exactly I have done but it seems like I've done an alright job. I settle him into my arms and rock him back and forth slowly.

"Looks like someone just wants to be held, huh?" I whisper softly to my son while studying the little scrunched up face. I try my hardest to make out whether he looks more like Monica or me, for now he just appears to be a tiny version of Monica and Ross' uncle Ed (according to Ross). My son looks pretty content in my arms so I decide to place him against my chest, his small head now resting on my shoulder. I am still in disbelief how tiny he is. Compared to him, Monica and I must look like giants.

"You good there, Danny boy?" I feel the top of his head carefully and notice how his tiny fist clutches the collar of my worn-out NYU shirt that Monica loves so much (I still have no idea why). I finally know what Monica has been talking about all those years ago. The feeling of being responsible for this tiny human being is scary but at the same time it's simply the best feeling in the entire world.

The first time my son grabbed my finger I knew that I would always be there for him, no matter what. I didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as I love Monica, but Daniel has definitely proven me wrong.

Just when I thought my son has fallen back asleep again in my arms, I feel warm drool on my exposed neck. His cuteness doesn't help the situation, I cringe nevertheless as I grab his burp cloth and wipe my neck scarcely. It's definitely not over; my son is now latching on to my shoulder and makes clear to me that he wants his mom.

"Okay, little rascal, that is definitely not a boob." I lift him up again and place a kiss on the top of his head. I climb back into bed and am reluctant to wake up Monica. After the past months during which she had a tough time finding sleep (just like me), I still don't want to disturb her for Daniel's nightly needs. I watch her breathe evenly until my son starts to wriggle in my arms and I know I have to wake Monica up nontheless.

"Babe..." I gently rub her arm and feel her stir immediately, her motherly instincts kicking in again.

"What does he need?" Monica sits up slowly as she looks at us. Even though she looks exhausted, that incredibly happy smile is still plastered on her face. I grin in return, knowing I'm partly responsible for her happiness.

"Guess what? The only thing I am not able to help him with because I still don't have boobs."

She laughs softly and I watch as her hands quickly unbutton the top of her nighty. I am aware that this bit is normally saved for my son, but I still can't help but gaze at my wife at awe. She must have noticed my intense look because it takes me a few seconds to react.

"Chandler?!"

"Huh?" I shift my gaze from Monica's well-rounded, full breasts to look into her eyes, seeing her shake her head at me.

"Is this to satisfy your son's needs or your own?"

I smirk slightly and finally hand Daniel over to her, shrugging.

"I guess there's a little bit for both of us. I mean, the package _does _appear to kids and adults, so..."

I know she can't stay mad at me too long for I have given her the gift of life. Having a newborn baby definitely had its perks, especially when it comes to feeding time.

Monica gathers little Daniel in her arms and puts him into position as I watch intently how my son quickly latches on, apparently very eager to fill his stomach. I have to grin internally; it's funny to think that ten minutes ago I was still cursing him for waking me up at such an ungodly hour. Now I just feel thankful that he did.

"Still can't get enough of this, huh?"

Monica looks over at me as our son makes little suckling noises against her breast and I watch as she softly strokes his small head that is covered with literally three hairs.

"Nah," I smile sheepishly as I close the gap between our bodies and wrap my arm around her shoulders, trying to be as close to her as possible. She doesn't appear to be mad at me so I lean in and gently kiss the side of her face.

"I sometimes still can't believe we made this," I tell her softly as I watch my son eat.

Her voice is softer than I've ever heard it before and I know that she's completely focused on Daniel again. "I know."

"Definitely deserves the nickname _The Achievement_," I wriggle my eyebrows at her and elicit a laugh from her.

"Yeah, we'll see what he thinks of that once he's older."

"Don't worry, he'll grow up with my sarcastic remarks so I'm sure he'll find it funny."

Monica shoots me an incredulous look, but doesn't reply as she focuses her attention on our son again, who is now happily sucking away at her breast. We both remain silent and enjoy the short silence and our newly-found status as a family of three. I can't help but feel his chubby cheek softly and I feel like my heart is about to burst when Daniel grabs my giant finger.

"We definitely need to make more of these," I keep my eyes on my baby and watch as Daniel's eyes open slightly. He pulls his small hand away and grabs Monica's boob instead. Definitely my son.

"Greedy pig," I say teasingly until the suckling noise calms down and he slowly lets go.

"I wonder who he got that from..."

Now it's Monica's time to joke.

I shrug, partly in defeat, partly because I am overcome by exhaustion. After all, it is 4:17am and my son's high-pitched voice is not exactly a smooth alarm clock.

"You feel like burping your son?" Monica asks while buttoning up her nightie again and I can't help but feel a little disappointment soar through my veins.

"_My _son, huh? Did you hear that, Danny boy? Mommy doesn't want you anymore." I pout as I take him into my arms again, the burp cloth already in place over my right shoulder.

"I just feel like I've done the hard part for tonight, don't you think? Having something suck on your nipples until they are raw is not exactly my idea of fun," she lets me know.

Meanwhile, I am walking up and down with Daniel on my shoulder, soothingly rubbing his small back and trying to get him to burp. I stop and look at Monica, sensing some sort of edge in her voice. But when she notices my concerned look, she shoots me a small smile.

"But this makes up for it again. Seeing my two guys like that."

I smile proudly and my son obviously chooses this particular moment to let out a loud burp.

"Classy."

Monica laughs softly and leans back against the headboard. "Definitely your child."

"Yeah, I'm kind of okay with that," I say, more to Daniel than to my wife, as I lift him up over my head and then proceed to kiss the top of his head before putting him back into the bassinet. I cover him up and watch for a few minutes until he is finally sleeping peacefully again.

"He's out like a light. Solved another crisis," I say when climbing back into bed and snuggling up to Monica. "Together. Obviously."

She grins at me and lets out a yawn.

"Guess we should make use of the silence and get some more sleep." It is only now that I realise how damn right Monica is all the time. It seems like an eternity since we had that talk about sleepless nights and I am having a hard time believing how much Daniel has changed out lives already.

She nods against my chest and drapes one arm over my body. Everything I've ever wanted and everything I'll ever need is right here in this room with me. And that thought makes me pretty damn happy.


End file.
